First Threesome? Read This Before You Try It!

So, you're thinking about a threesome, huh? That's awesome! Exploring your sexuality and desires is a fantastic part of being human. But before you jump into bed with two others, let's make sure you're really ready for your first threesome, or as you put it, your first "excogi." It's not just about the physical act; it's about communication, boundaries, and understanding what you and your partners want and expect. Let's dive into some essential things to consider before you embark on this adventure.

Are You Truly Ready for a Threesome?

When considering a threesome, it's super important to ask yourself some serious questions. Are you doing it because you're genuinely curious and excited, or are you trying to fix a problem in your current relationship? A threesome should never be a Band-Aid for underlying issues. If you're hoping it will spice things up or bring you closer to your partner, you might want to reconsider. Instead, focus on open communication and addressing any concerns you have before introducing another person into the mix.

Honest self-reflection is key. Think about your motivations. Are you feeling pressured by your partner? Are you worried about appearing boring or unadventurous if you say no? It's okay to have reservations, and it's crucial to express them. Your comfort and well-being are paramount. Remember, a threesome should be a fun, consensual experience for everyone involved, not something done out of obligation or fear.

The Importance of Communication

Communication, communication, communication! I can't stress this enough. Talking openly and honestly with your partner is absolutely crucial before, during, and after a threesome. This means discussing your fantasies, expectations, and boundaries in detail. What are you hoping to get out of the experience? What are you absolutely not comfortable with? What are your hard limits? Make sure you're both on the same page and that you both feel safe and respected. Consider scenarios and talk through how you would react. This proactive communication is key to avoiding potential misunderstandings or hurt feelings. It’s not just about the fun; it’s about ensuring everyone feels secure and respected throughout the entire experience.

Setting Boundaries

Boundaries are your best friends when it comes to exploring a threesome. They define what you're comfortable with and what you're not. Maybe you're okay with kissing but not with certain sexual acts. Perhaps you're fine with your partner interacting with the other person but not with them focusing solely on each other. Whatever your boundaries are, make them crystal clear to everyone involved. It's also important to remember that boundaries can be changed or adjusted at any time. If something feels uncomfortable during the experience, it's perfectly okay to say no or stop. Your comfort and safety should always be the top priority.

Finding the Right Partner

So, you've talked to your partner, set your boundaries, and you're both feeling excited and ready to explore. Now comes the task of finding a third person to join you. This can be tricky, but with the right approach, you can find someone who's a good fit for both of you. Think about what qualities you're looking for in a third partner. Are you looking for someone who's experienced or someone who's also new to this? Do you prefer someone who's outgoing and adventurous, or someone who's more laid-back and sensual? It's important to be on the same page as your partner about what you both want.

Where to Look

There are several ways to find a third partner. You could ask a friend who you trust and feel comfortable with. This can be a great option because you already have a connection and a level of comfort with them. However, it's important to consider the potential impact on your friendship if things don't go as planned. Another option is to use dating apps or websites that cater to people looking for threesomes or open relationships. These platforms can provide a wider pool of potential partners, but it's important to be upfront and honest about what you're looking for. Be clear about your expectations, boundaries, and what you're hoping to get out of the experience.

Screening Potential Partners

Once you've found a few potential partners, it's time to do some screening. This means getting to know them better, asking them questions about their experience, and making sure they're a good fit for both you and your partner. A video call is a great way to gauge chemistry and see if you feel comfortable with them. Talk about your expectations, boundaries, and what you're hoping to get out of the experience. It's also important to discuss safer sex practices and make sure everyone is on the same page about STI testing and condom use.

What to Expect During the Threesome

Okay, so you've found the perfect third, everyone's on board, and the date is set. What can you expect during the threesome itself? First of all, relax! Remember, this is supposed to be a fun and enjoyable experience for everyone involved. Try to let go of any anxieties or expectations you might have and just go with the flow. Communication is still key during the act, continuously check in with everyone involved to make sure they are comfortable.

Focus on Pleasure, Not Performance

It's easy to get caught up in the pressure to perform, especially when there are two other people involved. Try to let go of any expectations you might have and just focus on enjoying yourself and pleasuring your partners. Don't worry about being perfect or doing everything right. Just relax, be present in the moment, and enjoy the experience.

Checking In and Adjusting

During the threesome, it's important to check in with your partners and make sure they're still comfortable and enjoying themselves. This can be as simple as asking, "Are you okay?" or "Is there anything you'd like to try?" If someone expresses discomfort or wants to stop, respect their wishes immediately. Remember, consent can be withdrawn at any time, and it's important to prioritize everyone's safety and well-being.

After the Threesome

The experience isn't over when the act ends. The aftercare is just as important. Schedule time to cuddle and talk after the experience. It will help everyone feel closer and more connected. After the threesome, it's important to have an open and honest conversation with your partner and the third person about how everyone felt. What did you enjoy? What didn't you enjoy? Is there anything you'd like to do differently next time? This is a great opportunity to learn and grow together and to strengthen your communication skills.

Processing Emotions

It's also important to acknowledge and process any emotions that might come up after the threesome. You might feel excited, satisfied, confused, or even a little bit overwhelmed. All of these feelings are normal and valid. Take some time to reflect on the experience and to talk to your partner or a trusted friend about how you're feeling. If you're struggling to process your emotions, consider seeking professional help from a therapist or counselor.

Maintaining Communication

Whether you decide to have another threesome or not, it's important to maintain open communication with your partner. Talk about your experiences, your feelings, and your desires. This will help you to strengthen your relationship and to continue exploring your sexuality in a safe and healthy way.

Final Thoughts

So, are you ready for your first threesome excogi? Only you can answer that question. But by considering these essential factors, you can make an informed decision and create a fun, safe, and consensual experience for everyone involved. Remember, communication, boundaries, and respect are key. So go out there, explore your desires, and have fun!